Carla Bruni

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I have tasted death, now I live in gratitude

Music cures my anxiety

by Silvia Fumarola

Sensitive, witty, nonconformist. Carla Bruni, 56, former supermodel former première dame of France, singer-songwriter, laughs when she is called "algid" or "snobbish." She recounts her life, from choices to illness, with intensity and lightness. Two children, Aurélien, 22, had with philosopher Raphael Enthoven, and Julia, 12, born of her bond with Nicolas Sarkozy, she is amazed by the echo of the interview to Belve. "It was successful, there was a lot of talk about it."

He will be a guest on July 5 at the Spoleto Festival, for a concert at Teatro Romano.

"I've never been there," she says, "but my parents used to come there all the time, my father was a composer. Spoleto since from a little girl has been ringing in my ears. It's new but it's like it's written in my memory. My mother wants to come, 'With you it will be a wonderful experience.'"

What does music give you?

"A lot, and it's also my profession. From the human point of view it is a refuge, it solves anxiety... from composer and from melomaniac, it makes me feel good."

She had the privilege of choice: from little girl what did she dream of doing?

"I dreamed of music, I was childish and lonely, for me loneliness is not an injury. I like reading, writing, playing music. It would be nice to be 18: the band in the garage, when you feel the energy, the urgency, that thing there, desperate and hopeful. Instead I'm 56, writing alone, sitting at my desk, with a cup of green tea."

Don't you think "that desperate, hopeful thing" eventually stays in?

"He's right. You choose where to put the energy, often from young you get away, now we are young great."

Does your age weigh on you?

"Um, a little bit. My mom, who is 94, says, 'If only you were 60: one is still very young, you can dance at night, make love in the morning.' If you think about it, that's right."

After "Belve" you clarified, did you talk to your sister Valeria?

"My sister and I don't do anything relegated to the public. As an actress she is wonderful, as a director she has a unique style. The question is: to who do the stories belong to? to everyone, although I see her talent even more, when she tells things outside the family. She knows how I think, and with my sisters, even Consuelo (daughter of Carla's natural father Maurizio Remmert) we always talk. There is geographical distance but our souls are close."

Did you imagine that the interview would get so much traction?

"No, it's crazy. Francesca Fagnani is very good, vital. I don't go on TV, I'm afraid and I don't like to look after myself. A friend told me, 'Come on take care of yourself from David Letterman.' I don't know if it's a problem of narcissism, but I disgust myself, I judge myself, "You look stupid, how did you dress?" I am separated from my image."

Strange said from a former model.

"That's the point. When you put it smooth, a Richard Avedon picture, it's fine. On TV, I don't recognize myself: one talks, one moves, one changes. I see myself again and get discouraged. The witty line you meant to say comes to you the next day."

Read the full interview at